


I Hate the Deep Roads

by LasbelinaronEva



Series: Wicked Grace and Sucking Face [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 11:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30139203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LasbelinaronEva/pseuds/LasbelinaronEva
Summary: It's after the defeat of Corypheus and Ellana Lavellan already wants to throw herself into more work (can you blame her? who wants to process the mess of Solas leaving the Inquisition under the most mysterious of circumstances?). Into the Deep Roads for her! She is joined by Varric, Cole, Seneca (my dwarf Inquisitor OC that I made into just a regular companion), and Blackwall (who is Seneca's love interest so of course, he had to butt his way into the expedition). The next chapter is going to be even angstier than this one, so buckle up my wonderful readers. Will Varric tell Ellana the true reasons he hates the Deep Roads, or will he keep deflecting? Find out in the next installment!As always, thank you for reading <3
Relationships: Blackwall (Dragon Age)/Original Casteless Dwarf Character(s), Female Inquisitor/Varric Tethras, Female Lavellan/Varric Tethras
Series: Wicked Grace and Sucking Face [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2081352
Kudos: 3





	I Hate the Deep Roads

Varric hadn’t seen Ellana all morning. Since they had taken Skyhold as headquarters, their mornings had been pretty consistent. Ellana confiscated Inquisition mail from Josie, who set aside the previous day’s most offensive correspondence and returned to the mess hall. Over breakfast, Varric recited the letters in a booming, mocking voice. The practice not only raised morale and let the soldiers have a good laugh but helped Ellana as well. Varric had quickly come up with the idea one afternoon after seeing Ellana almost in tears over the unnecessarily hateful language of a naysayer. “A critic is just a fan in denial,” he had coaxed with a smile.

When Ellana did not show up for breakfast with the letters, Varric was puzzled. He went into the war room asking after her. 

“She’s probably under Skyhold,” Leliana said nonchalantly, not looking up from the map. 

“What do you mean, under Skyhold?” He asked. 

“There’s a river that runs under Skyhold that you can go down to. She goes there for contemplation,” Leliana replied.

“You know about that too? I thought she and I just had that kind of friendship…” Josie chimed in, shaking her head. 

Varric shook his head, smiling. Leliana gestured, silently letting him know she could lead the way to his friend. He turned to go look for this secret spot, but before he could leave, Cullen called after him.

“Could you tell her we have prospective missions that we should talk about?” 

Really, Varric thought, you couldn’t even wait for a day or two after the defeat of Corypheus? Leliana leading, the two descended a set of stairs Varric swore he had never seen before. The sound of gentle rushing water soon filled his ears, and sure enough, the stairs opened into an underground cave with a river running through its ground. 

“She knows the way up,” Leliana said, excusing herself to return to the rooms above. 

Ellana sat on the bank, her bare feet plunged into the water.

“I guess you read one that hit too close to home?” Varric joked. 

Ellana looked up suddenly from the water. “Well, shit. You found me.”

“I don’t know if this place is as secret as you thought, Ell. I think everyone knew about this but me.”   
“I’d say if you didn’t know about it, it’s a pretty good secret,” she laughed, wiggling her toes in the water. Most Dalish were connected to nature, but Ellana found herself connected to water the most. If there was a body of water, Ellana could be found in or near it. Varric should have known. 

Ellana patted the sandy bank next to her. Varric sat next to her, keeping his feet on the bank and out of the water. 

“Sorry about our letter reading,” she said finally. “I couldn’t sleep so I came down here, and haven’t left since.” 

“What, defeating an archdemon magister is not relieving enough for you?”

She shook her head, frowning. “I just have too much to think about.”

Varric paused, considering another joke. Instead, he decided to prompt her forward. “Like?” 

“I am just...very confused.” 

“About?”

Ellana sighed and returned her gaze to the running water. “I feel so used by Solas… I think all he wanted was that orb thing, and when it was destroyed, he didn’t even want to be around me anymore. I feel so...stupid!” 

Varric crossed his arms slowly, considering. “You’re not stupid,” was all he could manage. 

“So my mind is racing, just thinking back on all those moments we had together, were they even real? Or just another segment in the web of lies he wove?” Anger swelled in her voice, and she attempted to calm herself. 

“I’m sorry, Ell. If that’s true, that’s a douche move.” 

“I might never know if it’s true… and, to be honest, I don’t know if I want to know.” She fell silent as she returned to watching the flowing water. “And, then, there’s...you.”

“Me? What about me?” Varric shifted uncomfortably on the rocky ground. 

Us, Ellana thought. And then there’s us, she wanted to say. The pronoun almost slipped off her tongue, but at the last second she had changed it to ‘you’. “Do you want to talk about the kiss? About last night?” She asked, testing the waters. 

He carefully shifted his gaze to make eye contact. He began to speak, but Ellana cut him off. 

“Wait. Before you say anything, if you’re going to say something along the lines of ‘it was impulsive’ or ‘it was wrong of me’, please don’t. I’ve had that conversation once before and it hurts.”

He paused, then slowly leaned towards her lips till they were centimeters away. Ellana closed her eyes, anticipating a kiss. He pulled away. 

“No, Ell,” he cleared his throat, then corrected, “Ellana. I...I can’t.”

Her brows furrowed in concern, a look Varric always felt the inexplicable need to remedy immediately. But he couldn’t this time. Not immediately, anyway. 

“Why not?” 

Varric let out a long, sad sigh. “There is so much you don’t know about me, Ell.”

She crossed her arms in confusion. “If this is a Blackwall situation, I need to know, because I can’t-” 

“No, no! Nothing like that. I am, unfortunately, for the most part, exactly who I present myself to be.”

Ellana gave him a look as if to say, ‘okay, and?’. 

Taking Ellana by surprise, Varric reached for her hand and took it in his. “I’ve seen a lot. I’ve been through a lot. You can’t be the same after that, Ell. I would say you deserve the man I was before, but he was an asshole too. You deserve someone better.”

Ellana saw the transparent sorrow on Varric’s face and wanted to cry. She wanted to gather him up in her arms and listen to the sad rhythm of his heart.

“I’ve been through a lot, too,” she said defiantly. “I saw Leliana die for me. I saw /you/ die for me.”

Varric’s eyes widened. She had told everyone she saw Leliana die for her, but not that Varric had died for her. Perhaps some things were just too terrifying to repeat. He shook his head and let go of her hand. 

“Yeah, well, that’s not the same. I didn’t get to save the people I lost,” he noted bitterly. 

Ellana pulled back, offended at her friend’s words. “Why did you come down here anyway?” She asked, trying to remain calm. 

“Advisors are looking for you. They say they have some missions for us,” he replied.

“Let’s not keep them waiting, then,” she stood up, shaking excess water off her feet.

“Ell…” he began. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t right of me. You have been through a lot since becoming Inquisitor. I didn't mean to sound like I don't know that.”

Her face softened and she held her hand out to help him up. “It’s okay, Varric. You ever want to talk about the things I don’t know about, I’m here.” A warm smile beamed across her face, any trace of anger gone from it. 

The two made their way back to the War Room, where Leliana slid two tattered letters across the table. Good morning to you too, Ellana thought. 

“We have received two letters requesting the Inquisition’s aid,” Josie started. “One, from Orzammar. The other, from a professor at the University of Orlais.” 

“Orzammar?” Varric asked. “This should be interesting.” 

“Very,” Commander Cullen interjected. “There have been reports of major earthquakes collapsing lyrium mines at an alarming rate. Since our reputation for solving mysteries precedes us, they have asked for our help in the investigation. You will be meeting one Shaper Valta at the rendezvous.” 

“That’s not good,” Ellana picked up the letter and examined it. “And the one from this...professor?” 

“He believes that the Frostback Basin could hold a key to understanding the fate of the last Inquisitor,” Leliana added. 

Ellana considered the possibilities. She was a sucker for uncovering secrets of the past, but this problem in the Deep Roads seemed a little more pressing to the immediate wellbeing of others. “We should go see what these earthquakes are about first. Then we can help this professor with his archaeological dig.” 

Varric looked uneasy as he spoke up. “Ellana, are you sure you want to go to the Deep Roads? Now? You said you didn’t sleep…” 

Ellana recalled Varric’s hatred for the Deep Roads and wondered if he was really concerned for her or just concerned for himself. “You don’t have to come,” she pointed out. 

“I don’t…” he said reluctantly, then added, “but I will.” 

“Great! Gather the team then and meet me by the gates? The usual people?” 

Varric looked at Ellana expectantly. “The usual people?” He repeated. 

Then it hit her. The usual people involved Solas, and he was no longer a part of the Inquisition. The realization staggered her, and she used the war table to steady herself. 

Always the quick thinker, Varric suggested, “what about Seneca and Cole?” 

Ellana’s brow furrowed as she wondered if she would be okay being the only mage in the party. Yes, she resolved, with the help of her specialization and the extra moves Madame de Fer taught her, she could hold her own. She nodded in agreement and Varric flashed her a reassuring smile as he went off to fetch the aloof spirit and the solitary dwarf. 

As they began to leave the walls of Skyhold, a thick, familiar voice bellowed after them. Blackwall, who had mounted his horse, was riding towards the four adventurers. Ellana stopped and turned to face him. 

“If my lady Seneca is to go into the Deep Roads, I must follow her,” he proclaimed proudly.

The four exchanged glances and shrugged. What was one more warrior? 

“A fake warden walks into the Deep Roads...sounds like the start of a bad joke,” Varric mumbled. 

“Ooh, are we trying jokes again?” Cole chimed in. 

“No, kid, just...let’s get going.”   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
As the group stepped onto what would easily be the longest elevator ride of their lives, Ellana’s nerves started to kick in. Before the Inquisition, Ellana had barely made it out of the wilderness she and her clan had been wandering. Every place she had been, every city and every dale, had been an entirely new experience for her. She welcomed each new sight with open arms, but something about a new underground area set her hair on edge. 

“I hate the Deep Roads,” Varric announced. 

“Spoken like a true stone-blind,” Seneca tutted. 

“Why do you hate them so much, Varric?” Ellana asked. 

“Too many darkspawn. Plus, the lack of real light just messes my sleep schedule right up. This dwarf needs his beauty rest,” he deflected. 

“Sharp claws, poison rushing in. A crimson remembrance tearing a separate but unequal bond ap-”

“Shh, kid. It’s okay,” Varric coaxed. 

“No, it’s not,” Cole quietly objected. 

An awkward silence settled among the group. Ellana cleared her throat nervously. “Seneca. Do you have much experience in the Deep Roads?” 

Seneca nodded gravely. “I was among the troop that was sent into the thaigs of old after the Hero of Fereldan confirmed the existence of the Anvil of the Void,” she explained. “After many weeks, we found the Anvil, but it was in ruin, and had been destroyed. That was a great loss… but yes, to answer your question, I have had many expeditions in the Deep Roads.” 

“Any helpful tips?” Ellana asked. 

Seneca considered, before firmly responding, “do not get grabbed. The larger ones will try to grab you, but the smaller ones will try to scratch you. You and Varric do not have to worry about that as much as the rest of us do- you can keep your distance with your spells.” 

Ellana nodded, gulping hard. The party winced as the elevator shook unexpectedly. After what seemed like another five minutes of uncomfortable anticipation, the elevator reached its platform with a satisfying thunk. The party made their way towards a dwarf who had their back turned to them and was listing off names. 

“-your names will not be forgotten,” the dwarf finished and turned to the new arrivals. 

“Shaper Valta?” Ellana asked, approaching the stranger. 

“Atrast vala, Inquisitor,” she began. 

“I got your letter. We’re here to help,” Ellana said, looking around warily. 

“Your eagerness honors us,” she gestured down a rocky path. “Please, let us go to the Legion of the Dead’s camp, and I can explain anything you need to know on the way.”


End file.
